Where's My Christmas Spirit?

This season, I feel everyone has been low on the Christmas Spirit. With all the natural disasters around the world, many so close to home, one would think we'd be especially greatful for what we have. I have to admit, I'm a little sour- And It's Christmas Day! Lately, I have felt more and more like the fifth wheel and whenever I tell people, they tell me I'm over-reacting. But am I? Rachel and Morgan have each other and Gabrielle. Jordan and Ryan have one another. Rachel and Ryan have each other. My mom and Kevin have each other as well as my dad and Jody. I just feel like no matter what I do, I'm the "extra wheel." I even feel this way with my friends. Kori and Laura, Sami and Erin, Dianna and Chelsea, Adrienne and Casey, NOT ME, NOT ME, NOT ME!!! I don't think that it helps that over this past year I've dealt with issues that are too large for me to handle on my own-and I have. My parents constant bickering over child support, the tug-of-war for time, the loss of Prime, Myrtle, Molly, and all thirteen of her puppies. The issue of driving, my dedication to school and FFA. I think it's just the fact that my body can't be stretched that far. I can't be who everyone wants me to be. I don't even know who I want to be. Over this year, I've drifted away from God and feel like I can't even speak to him any more, even though I know I can always return to him. My life feels like its in shambles and I'm not sure if I can pick up all the pieces. And even if I can, will they fit back together or will I need more glue than ever before? I don't know and I need guidance. Please, O Lord, help and guide me through the following years. Amen.

Always~